I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
