We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
