The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I am mentally ready for anal.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
