Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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