I want to stick my p in your. b.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
