this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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