nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
