I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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