Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
