You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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