She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
