Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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