I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
