Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize