bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
