sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
3 2 1 whiskey
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
