Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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