You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
