is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He told me they were just razor bumps!
it's like iHOP with fire
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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