Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
