dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
