just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I lost the right to judge tonight
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
