do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
