Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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