I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
