I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize