If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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