Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
