i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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