I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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