Where is the hickey?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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