I'm going to jail i love you
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
