Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
