jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize