my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
