I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
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