Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
