Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
