Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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