these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
