I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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