woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Did I show you my penis last night?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize