Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
