He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
