Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
