Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Randomize
