when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
