we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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