I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
