The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
