I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
there is glitter all over my balls
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
