I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
