I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
