based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
This toilet bowl is my home.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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