There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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