I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
