There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
