I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
