"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Screwed.edu
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
