I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
do herpes really smell.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize