I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
